Introducing Dorky..

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Click on Dorky multiple times and watch him falls. Have a good laugh, mate!

Exams are coming.. Ugh!

Good day, folks. I won’t be updating my blog for a couple of weeks due to the busyness in preparing for my exams. Been thinking through for sometimes (don’t ask me why I have time to think and no time to blog) on many issues, especially the more pertinent one being my faith as a Christian.

No doubt, I have watched the movie “Da Vinci Code” – a fictional story cleverly woven by Dan Brown, the author of the book “Da Vinci Code”. While thousands of Christians have put up demonstrations and protests to ban the movie from screening in their countries, church leaders from all over the world are busy educating their congregations on the truth of Jesus Christ.

What exactly went wrong? The closely guarded secret of the Holy descendants of Jesus Christ by the Priory of Sion? Or the Church’s attempt to cover up the “truth” of the birth of the daughter of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene?

Can the Bible be trusted? Who are the authorities canonizing the Bible scriptures? Are the scriptures truly the Word of God or are the scriptures written by authors with absolute awesome imagination?

Who is God? How does He/She look like? Is Christianity the only way to Heaven – that’s if it exists? If all religions are supposed to teach people good things, then why are there still evil? Why Christians proclaim that their religion is the only true religion? What is the Truth? What is spirituality? Do animals have spirituality?

I will be embarking on a journey in search of the answers to my questions. Till we meet again.  

Random Musing

If somebody were to ask me to define politics, my reply will be

“Politics is the art of seducing and the science of persuasion”

Just to make sure I know what I am talking about, I go ahead to check out the words in Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary.

The OALD has various definition of art which I pick up 2 most relevant explanation in this context

[1] the skill of creating objects such as paintings and drawings, especially when you study it

[2] an ability or skill you can develop with training and practice

Similarly for science,

[1] a system of organizing the knowledge about a particular subject

Then what is seduce? I look up the dictionary again and here is what it defines as to persuade somebody. to do something that they would not usually agree to do by making it seems very attractive.

And persuasion is defined as to make somebody to do something by giving them good reasons to do it. Alternative meaning to persuasion is to make somebody believe that something is true.

After understanding the meaning of each word individually, I will attempt to explain the reply in the contextual sense in order not to distort the entire meaning of the reply. (I know it’s getting abit scholarly.. :p)

The art of seducing – the creative power of convincing people to do the biddings of the politician(s) which they would not usually agree to do by making something seems very attractive. (Think why I bold the word seems :p)

The science of persuasion – the systematic dogma of making people do something by giving them good reasons to do it.

Jack: This is a random post which pop out of my mind. Must have been the past few weeks pondering over the political future of Singapore. BTW, the reply is original and not plagiarized.

I believe the very reason why the incumbent lao jiao*­ PAP cadres (er, new birds protected by lao jiaos under the GRCs) can win the elections is ..

They apply my formula.. haha.. I can see that they have mastered the art of seduction and applied the science of persuasion fervently.

Dichotomy Analysis

A typical PAP candidate during the election will rally about

• Upgrading of public housing amenities.

Making people in his constituency believe that their value of their house, if upgraded, will go up (reasons) and hence these greedy peasants can profit (SEEMS attractive) from the house if they decide to sell it.

Jack: Is there any substantial benefit for the government to go for the “asset enhancement scheme”? Is pushing the value of the property price in our agenda for choosing our government? Is there any real profit gain from upgrading scheme? Can anyone enlighten me?

• Attracting more foreign investors and hence creating more jobs for Singaporeans

In other words, having a PAP candidate in the parliament will attract more foreign investors (that’s damn good reason). Sometimes he might use “job opportunities” instead of jobs. I pray that we can differentiate btw job opportunities and jobs. The former refers to the increased chance of getting a job which not necessarily means an increase in jobs in the job market.

Jack: Is it just me who detects ambiguity when someone says attracting foreign investors and creating more jobs? No mention of what kind of foreign investors and what kind of jobs? Maybe there is? Biomedical? IT? I don’t know if the government lacks foresight. How come they did not anticipate the market demand for biomedical/life science 10 – 15 years ago?

What say you?

* lao (old) jiao (bird) refers to people who are holding senior ranks or people who have been in a particular field for very long time

Revived!

Greetings people, just as you are thinking that my blog is dead, you are probably qui..t..e r-right.

I have been somehow

emasculated by the not-so-heavy workload (strange, hmm, must be the disease called procrastination);

engrossed in the Singapore General Erections 2006;

enmeshed the peace of Jesus Christ in the midst of busy schedules and crap stuff.

I bet you doubt my sincerity if I tell you I really have a lot to bitch about but the reality is I do (feel sincere about blogging, and I have a lot to bitch about).

Just some quick updates:

• I have gotten a B+ for my psychology assignment. Credits go to (in order of importance) *drum rolls* .. Jesus for being my Lord, Scott Wills & G for painstakingly doing proofread, the marker who marks and moderate my assignment (well, at least she’s not a biatch).
  
• Presentation for my ISHPP is over and I have done relatively well for that.
• Psychology exam and Human Anatomy exams are on 7^th June and 9^th June respectively.
• Trip to Wellington was awesome albeit tired.

That is about all.

Wellington

Hi folks,

I'm still alive and kickin'. Been busy for these few weeks because of assignments and Easter celebrations.

Just witnessed Daryl's water baptism yesterday. Shall blog in another entry.

Here I am, after a tiring 10 hours car journey, in Wellington. I'm currently staying in the Greenhouse, a living Christian community home with people from many nations.

Adios.

Assignment Ordeal (and Drunk Kiwis cracked me up)

Hello people,

I've not gone missing though I'm really tie up with my assignments. Just had one assignment submitted on Friday and another one's due on Wednesday.

I do have a lot of stuff to blog about but I shall continue my rambling about my assignment some other times.

========== Now here's the treat==================

How do you get your mate to tell you the darkest secrets?

Ans: Get him drunk... and watch what happens next.

Once upon a time,a drunk Kiwi cracked me up (read: Scotty). He will tell you anything from the heaven to the earth, that how shitty New Zealand is becoming to, that his father who hates tourists and yet loves patronising them.. and he does really stupid stuff.. but at least, he's still my good mate -- he doesn't swear like those bloody kiwis did...

Being the only sober one, I was responsible for an elephant task -- to be a GOOD asian driver. BTW, I had free colas and he happily drank about 6 jugs of beer...

Anyway, he did something really hilarious... we pulled over at one of his mate's apartment and we were sitting on the couch watching sky tv (equivalent to SG SCV but much better)... First, we were watching animal planet channel, then sports and then he decided to do something cheeky. He subscribed to Spice channel (read: porn). We had a good time watching tarzan porn and guess what? His mate doesn't know about it. Er well, that's still alright but not until the bill comes.

See, what happened was his mate was telling us how cheap sky tv is if he and his other flatmates share the cost.. something like $15 a month. However, I'm pretty sure that they are not paying just $15 but more for this month. That's because our dear Scotty subscribed the porn channel "on their behalf" and I'm positive that when the bill comes, there will be a huge havoc going on in the apartment. Everyone will be denying about the subscription. May God bless 'em.

I should say I have a good laugh watching the tarzan porn for FREE at other's expenses... Good one, mate!

I don't know why I'm blogging this down but I reckon I won't get such things in Singapore. Drunk Singaporeans are dead fish basically.. boring boring boring.

I like the later part of the conversation when we were back in our apartment. Scotty was criticizing how bad my pool was (which was obviously true, I played like shit). I don't know if he was pissed with me but he started talking about how learning calculus and basic physics would have helped me play pool better... haha, I'm like ??('~')?? ... hmm.. I didn't really know that, mate. I mean I don't even know how to hold the cue stick properly, let alone internalizing the calculus theory and physics law into playing pool.

Not forgetting that my ol' wise mate said something really cool - My, referring to yours truly, English sucks.

Apparently, that hurts but I've gotten over it because I told him I learnt my English one week before I came to Auckland.

I'm just gonna end this entry with a short note.

Dear Scott,

You are really one funny ass and I'm not underestimating you. In fact, I've overestimated you!
Continue to get pissed and I can really hear something I'd never hear from you like how New Zealanders are getting pussy and shit like that.

I shall never trust your instinct when you intoxicate yourself. I can't believe I committed 2 fucking offences in 15 minutes I'm not sure if I'm intellectually challenged or I'm just too trusting er well, just to HUMOUR that drunkard kiwi. But folks, do not attempt this.

Rule #1,
Never do what a drunk Kiwi tells you to do like driving up the elevated grass patch while there are people staring at you! That's sheer stupidity and that's outrageous.

Rule #2,
Traffic signs are made for drivers to obey. Never believe a drunk Kiwi when he tells you it's ok to make a right turn when there is a traffic sign which says "No right turn".

Because of that, I reckon I can never uphold the image of a GOOD Asian drivers in Auckland. That's not a stereotype, that's a bitter truth. Asians are one_of_a_kind_shit drivers.

Folks, you will learn more about the REAL New Zealand culture when you hang around with drunk kiwis.

// I might edit this article again by adding more stories. I can't really recall anything now. Cheers

(Im)practical April's Fool Joke

How do you piss off an Indian who over analyzes situations?

Ans: Sign him up for Secret Admirer Week

This (im)practical joke was choreographed by Scott the mastermind. It started out harmless and ended up malicious. In any case, no Indians, Chinese or New Zealanders are hurt during the course of this joke. On March 14 2006 thereabout, we received a notice like this.

Click to see contents

Then, Scott was harbouring some plan, some really evil plan....

I'm da big bad wolf and I shall huff and puff...

He thought: oh well, maybe I should sign G up for the secret admirer thingy. What should i put? -scribble scribble- and off he went submitting the application. Day 1 gone.. nothing happened, Day 2 gone.. nothing happened.. Day 3 gone.. nothing happened and now, Scott was frantic. He was panicking. He was awaiting a note for G. Just one fine day, a lady popped in our apartment and slot a note under G's room. G saw it, came out of his room, saw Scott and I bursting into laughter, thought for a while and "Eureka! I know you guys wrote this note". Pausing for a while, we continued laughing, claiming (feigning) innocence. G tore the paper and threw it into the bin. Holy Shit!

What it should have been:
What's in G's mind was we are the culprits behind the note. But what he didnt realise that we "up" the game by abiding to the rules of the Secret Admirer thingy and DULY submit his application on his behalf. So the culprit behind the note is the REAL secret admiree, and not a PHONY one.

Hey, I'm not phony

Ever since G tore that piece of paper, nothing happened until one day, some strange looking rectangular block labelled "Cadbury" was placed near G's room. Seizing the opportunity, I grabbed my camera and took a snap or two (just in case he threw the chocolate away for no apparent reason). When G saw the chocolate, he gave a smug.

A strange looking rectangular block identified

What it should have been:
What G's thinking was Scott has wasted $2.67 on a block of chocolate on him. Nevertheless did he failed to realise that why on earth would we want to spend unnecessary $ on him. Let's do some basic calculation. The cost of "playing this joke" is $2.67 and the cost of "playing this game" is $0.(er, maybe just the cost of the pen ink)

Well, Scott thought, let him be. Let him think that Scott is a dumb ass who nearly tricked him but (un)fortunately, the Almighty G has foiled the PLAN. His almighty-ness was shortlive when one day, the REAL "admiree" came in with all the blue stuff and gave them to G. Hah, now who's the dumbass?! All of the sudden, G felt that his world has collapsed. Nothing can ever redeem his bruised pride... He felt like dancing in the rain, escaping the reality. (Picture a lonesome man dancing around the tree outta nowhere).

Quietly, he was accompanied by Waz da man from Mauritius to shop for gifts, feeling like a loser.

With his bruised pride and his wallet feeling lighter, he came home and start raving and ranting and mumbling. But what matter most is to salvage the situation by saving the ego of the admiree!!!

What it should have been:
Since G was thinking that Scott is behind the note and the presents, he didnt do anything concrete. However, it's abhorred in Asian societies that girls take initiative in any form of relationships. So ahem, it's dependant on G to save the situation NOW.

Being an accomplice of Scott, yours truly redempt himself by volunteering to wrap up the gifts... and G is all ready for the battle...

Da gifts

Geared up for battle

Of course, G felt much relieved and hey, Happy April Fool, folks! What have you done to fool your pals?